ramblings

Believe it or not I have actually typed up a few posts for my blog over the past few weeks.
I just never hit publish.
I have been typing in pure randomness.
I have been engulfed with emotion in the past weeks.
Sadness, distress, happiness, excitement and pure exhaustion to tie it all together.
I have 4 posts in a draft status- 4 posts I don't think I will ever publish.
I may print them for myself, but still not even sure about that.

I lost my Grandma on January 22nd.
She had been ill for awhile, but it still does not make it an easier. 
Death causes family members to do and say thinks they normally wouldn't.
Death makes you react to things you normally would let roll of your back.

The hardest part of it all was seeing my daughters cry.
That image still makes my heart hurt and brings tears to my eyes.
Then just when I think I'm good. When I thought I was past it-
The emotion spills over again.

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.
Up, down, Up, down.
I feel like I can sleep for a week.
But really, how practical is that?